Nevin's Data "Points"

  This weekend — for the first time in my life — I’ll spend Mother’s Day without Mom. For most of my adult life I lived too far away for a trip home for Mother’s Day to be…practical. Not that I didn’t look for — and find — ways to connect with her during the year. But in my heart, Mother’s Day called for a special level of acknowledgement. That said, there’s an emptiness this year where that phone call should be. No need to time it around church or Sunday lunch — or the other calls she’d get. Since her passing last December, these past months have been…rough. My siblings and I have, at various times, made trips to go through Mom’s house — she was a “gatherer” of family mementos across generations — much of which might, in other eyes, be characterized as “junk.” And yet, in going through the multitudinous boxes of photos and “stuff,” the elementary school awards (and grade cards), not to mention the cards and letters — so many letters — that we wrote to her over the years before thi...

On what turned out to be the longest day of 2024, I said good-bye to my dear 94-year-old mother. It wasn’t how any of us had planned to spend that day. Two days earlier, she was returning from getting new hearing aids with my sister when she slipped and fell — broke her femur, sending her to the hospital for what was to be a weekend surgery. Mom was amazingly self-sufficient — still living on her own (with some assistance from my sister, who lives nearby) — and she had gone through heart valve replacement and a pacemaker — with COVID in between those two years back. But this time, as is often the case with older folks, the trauma to her body was more than she could fight off. Thankfully, she managed to hang on until her kids (including this one) and several grandkids were able to get to Chicago to be with her as she went to be with the Lord.     I moved out — and my parents moved for my Dad’s new job — just as I graduated college.  My parents (and three siblings) liv...

 As kids, we often struggle with our parents’ attempts to help us make good choices—and, at least in my family, Mom caught the brunt of all that (at least from me).  We were probably like most families at the time in that we never really talked about money or finance. Doubtless that was in no small part because neither of those were in abundance in our household. But mostly, I suspect, it was because that was just one of “those” topics that were deemed to be private. In our house Mom was definitely our family’s CFO. See, like many in his generation, my dad wanted to hold the checkbook, but it was Mom who always made sure that there was money in the account. She’s the one who started setting aside money from her paycheck in her 403(b) plan at work—and continued to do so, even when my father was convinced they couldn’t afford it—and made no secret of that opinion. Or did until he got a glimpse of the statement that showed Mom’s retirement account growth—and then...

Mothers give us a lot, not the least of which is life itself. But as I was reading through all the accolades on social media over the weekend, I couldn’t help but be reminded of all my mother gave me. As is the case in many families, “Mom” was our family’s CFO. See, like many in his generation, my dad wanted to hold the checkbook, but it was Mom who always made sure that there was money in the account. She’s the one who started setting aside money from her paycheck in her 403(b) plan at work – and continued to do so, even when my father was convinced they couldn’t afford it – and made no secret of that opinion. Or did until he got a glimpse of the statement that showed Mom’s retirement account growth – and then, inspired by that example – he began setting money aside for retirement as well. Not surprisingly, Mom was the one who encouraged me to start saving in my workplace retirement plan as soon as I was eligible – and while I wasn’t always smart enough to ta...

Nevin and his mom. This weekend will mark the 12th anniversary of my father’s passing. There’s sadness associated with that date, of course, but he left behind a rich legacy in friends, family, and his life’s ministry that manages in the oddest ways to touch me at least once a month, even now. At 76, Dad lived longer than I think any of the men on his side of the family had to that point (as a lineal descendant, I’m happy to note that on my mother’s side, my grandfather and great-grandfather made it past 90). Ultimately, he was with us longer than he expected to be – but a lot less time than I ever anticipated. However, for all the good that Dad did in this life for others, as I have thought about my father this week, it’s my mother that is more often in my thoughts. Because she, like many women, have spent longer in retirement than their husbands. As is the case in many families, “Mom” was our family’ CFO. She was the one who encouraged me to start saving in my ...