A ‘No Regrets’ Retirement
A recent survey of retirees found the usual litany of regrets — but I think you could sum it all up in one key point.
They didn’t have a crystal ball.
Oh, not that they characterized it as such. Topping their list were the usual suspects — not saving enough or not starting to save sooner — but nearly half also regretted not having clear retirement goals, underestimating health care and long-term care costs, and not planning for life's inevitable surprises.
But having read these types of surveys over the years, I can’t help but wonder if sharing those post-retirement perspectives serves to motivate any pre-retirement behaviors.
My guess is — not.
For one thing, much of this advice is based on hindsight. It's hard to prepare for something you haven't experienced, particularly when the "something" is different for nearly everyone. Healthcare costs? Maybe. Long-term care? Perhaps. An unexpected late career layoff? Becoming a caregiver? A market downturn just before retirement? None of us knows which surprises we'll get. And most of us seem to think those things happen to someone else. Until, of course, it doesn’t.
Regret ‘Able?’
Which is why I think many of these "regrets" are really just lessons that could only have been learned after retirement — and I've now been retired long enough to have a perspective on that.
And, somewhat to my surprise, I don't have many regrets.
That doesn't mean everything went exactly according to plan. It certainly didn't. Yes, I had a number in mind (though it changed over the years). Yes, I (mostly my wife) did a thorough analysis of likely retirement expenses (those are a lot easier to do close to retirement, btw). And yes, part of that math was establishing a reliable retirement income base as a foundation.
I’m not saying there aren’t regrets in retirement. For some, it comes too soon — for others not soon enough. And while “the math” is an essential element in achieving a comfortable retirement, it’s really just part of the overall equation when it comes to figuring out the when and how.
The Three C’s
Looking back, I realized my retirement decision really came down to what I've come to think of as my "Three C's."
The first was the calendar. After more than four decades writing about retirement plans and retirement policy, I had reached a point where retirement wasn't some distant concept. Let’s face it, for all the talk of “never” retiring, when you get to a certain age — well, you realize you’re old enough with timing “validated” by hitting Social Security’s full retirement age.
The second was the commute. It hadn't gotten any longer, but it had certainly become more tiresome (particularly after the extended COVID non-commute). At some point, I found myself wondering whether I really wanted to keep spending that much of every day getting somewhere, instead of being somewhere.
The third C was one none of us saw coming.
COVID.
Like millions of others, overnight I suddenly found myself working from home — all the time. Not that I haven’t worked from home before — but this, of course, was different. More importantly, there’s something about a worldwide pandemic that brings one’s own mortality into focus.
What began as a public health necessity became, in retrospect, a dress rehearsal for retirement. Could I stay home all day? Could I establish a routine without an office? Would I miss the structure and social aspects of work?
Could my wife stand having me around that much?
As it turned out, I liked it more than I expected (as did my wife — whew!).
Which brings me to something else I've noticed; a great deal of retirement advice comes from people who have never actually — well, retired.
That's not meant as a criticism. Financial professionals understand investing. Benefits professionals understand retirement plans. Researchers understand data. Lifestyle coaches — well, they understand people (or claim to). They all have valuable perspectives — but they’re often siloed.
Retirement Realities
Retirement itself has a way of teaching lessons that don't always appear in Monte Carlo simulations or replacement-ratio calculations. Human beings don’t always act (or feel) the way “rational” models predict.
Yes, there were things I wish I had understood sooner. Taxes don't retire when you do. Medicare is more complicated than it first appears. Roth conversions become much more “interesting” once you're no longer earning a paycheck.
But perhaps that's the distinction these “regrets” surveys miss, though I get the hope that chronicling lifestyle regrets will spur positive action (but just ask any parent how that works with your kids).
If I could offer one piece of advice to those approaching retirement, it wouldn't be to obsess over every possible thing that might go wrong.
It would be to recognize that retirement probably won't be exactly the way you imagine — and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
After spending most of my career writing about retirement, I’ve finally had the opportunity to experience it — at least the start of it. Despite all the years I'd spent writing about retirement, if I had one regret — it might simply be that I underestimated the retirement experience itself.
And, like most things in life, along the way I discovered there were things about retirement you can only learn by “doing” it.
No crystal ball required.
- Nevin E. Adams, JD
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